Alec Baldwin Explains Phone Rant: "I Was Trying Out for Imus's Job!"

Yes, Alec Baldwin has caught a lot of flack for his phone tirade at his daugter, Ireland. He yelled at her a couple of weeks ago for not being available to talk with him at their pre-arranged time.

I've now come up with a reasonable explanation--Alec was just auditioning for Don Imus's old job! The I-Man has been ranting and raving on morning drive-time radio for decades, so Baldwin knew the bar was set pretty high for anyone seeking to fill Don's shoes (or his cowboy hat). So Alec channeled his angry, confrontational character from "Glengarry Glen Ross" (thankfully without the profanity).

Hmmm, let's picture this... "Ireland, put the Barbie doll DOWN! .... Barbie dolls are for closers only. You know what it takes to be my daughter?! It takes brass balls to be my daughter."

Hey, I'll always admire Baldwin for that great Glengarry role, and for his hilarious current turn on "30 Rock." I'd hate to see him denied visits with his kid just because of this one rant ... if this kind of blow-up is a recurring thing, well, that's another matter. He went on "The View" and said that he was considering giving up his role in "30 Rock" and even his acting career in general to spend more time concentrating on his family.

Shaving and losing some weight would do him some good. If nothing else, it would make him look less like a middle-aged crazy when he appears in court for a custody hearing.

Imus Apologizes for Scaring Small Children, Dogs

Already at the center of controversy over his derogatory comments about the Rutgers University women's basketball team, Don Imus has created another firestorm after the publication of pictures of his frightening new look at an appearance on Rev. Al Sharpton's radio show Monday.

Photos of Imus's long, scraggly white hair and overgrown eyebrows, combined with his trademark scrunched-up face, reportedly caused hundreds of cases of frightened children and agitated pets nationwide.

Like many people, I hadn't seen any photos of Imus that were more recent than the 1980s, when he had a head of curly hair. So seeing today's Imus was quite a shock -- and a scary one at that. He looks like what Captain Kangaroo, the children's TV show host from the 1960s, would look like if he had grown his hair long and lost 50 pounds from being held for years in a Turkish prison. (And if Captain Kangaroo had Andy Rooney's unruly, overgrown eyebrows transplanted onto his face.)

Don, get a haircut! You work in New York City, not in some cabin in the woods, sharing a bunk with the Unabomber!

Dream Season Ends for Rutgers Women's Hoops Team

Rutgers' dream season came to a crashing thud at the hands of the powerful Tennessee Volunteers Tuesday night at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland. The team's improbable run this season had included a remarkable turnaround from a 2-4 start for the young team. And it was punctuated by key victories over archrival Connecticut in the championship game of the Big East tournament, and big wins in the NCAA tourney over powerhouses Duke and LSU. More remarkable still was that Rutgers had no seniors on its team.

But the Rutgers run came to an end at the hands of a bigger and more experienced Tennessee team, the most successful program in women's NCAA basketball. The Lady Vols captured their seventh title by beating Rutgers at its own game, with suffocating defense. UT's bigger lineup also enabled them to amass a huge edge in offensive rebounds, leading to Tennessee having many more shot opportunities that their rivals from New Jersey.

Spirits were high at a pre-game party for the Rutgers faithful, sponsored by the alumni association and held at a Jacobs Field dining room adjacent to the Arena. The Rutgers band and cheerleaders were there, as were the university president, the men's football and basketball coaches, and many fans and alums from the Rutgers community.

Although women's basketball coach C. Vivian Stringer has set a record by being the only basketball coach (men's or women's) to take three different teams to the NCAA Final Four (this was the second time with Rutgers), she was still looking to win her first NCAA title. Among those attending the Rutgers pre-game party were several women who had played for Stringer at the first team she took to the Final Four, Pennsylvania's Cheyney State, whom she took to the pinnacle of college basketball in 1982.

Despite such historical meanings a Rutgers title would have, Stringer was not to get her title this night in Cleveland. But the good news is that she has a young team of talented players who will all be back next year. Rutgers fans are hoping to have another pre-game party before the championship match next year in Tampa, where the 2008 women's Final Four will be taking place.