Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Rudy Giuliani at the RNC: "A Hot Dog is NOT a Sandwich!"

Ah, what's better than a rousing, red-meat Rudy Giuliani speech at the Republican National Committee? Here's what: photos from Rudy's famously over-the-top expressions. Here are a couple of examples.

Testify, Rudy! Maybe on the second night of the convention we can wade into the heated controversy of whether a burrito is a sandwich, or whether ketchup is a vegetable.

Answer: This guy! Rudy looks like Ted Cruz just pranked him by giving him a proctological exam with a hot fireplace poker. Just relax and unclench, it'll be over before you know it. Or maybe Rudy was really thinking, "Who should have been the GOP nominee in 2008? In 2012? In 2016? In EVERY election year?! Meeeeeee!"

Tonight's "Make America Safe Again" sounded more like "Scare the shit out of America so we all hide under the bed curled up in the fetal position."

Night two of #RNCinCLE coming up on Tuesday, July 19th. Tune in 'n' cringe!

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Donald Trump Quick Takes - Is Mussolini a Type of Pasta?

Trump and Christie bro-hug
Donald Trump and Chris Christie embrace in a bro-hug. Christie looks like he's having an orgasm.

Donald Trump is famous for his quick-take insults and opinions on everyone and everything. So what are his thoughts on various topics? Here's our handy guide. (For some actual, real-time Trump-isms, straight from the mouth of The Donald himself, see the real Donald Trump Twitter feed.
  • Marco Rubio: Sweats like a pig
  • Ted Cruz: Little baby, girly man; looks like a freakish cartoon character
  • Benito Mussolini: That's a type of pasta, right?
  • David Duke: Isn't that the hot chick from "Dukes of Hazzard"?
  • Pres. Obama: Wasn't born on this planet. Where's his intergalactic birth certificate?!
  • Russian Pres. Putin: Strong leader. Has nice pecs & abs
  • Carly Fiorina: She could give away free printer cartridges for life and still couldn't get elected president of a town's Solid Waste Department
Have you got any favorite real or imagined Trump-isms? Type them in the comments below!

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Pizza Rat: Lovable NYC Hero; Now a Halloween Costume Idea

Everyone loves a touching story of a little guy who overcomes adversity to achieve his dream. And many people are looking for a last-minute costume idea for Halloween. What's the connection between the two? Pizza Rat, of course!

Pizza Rat became the toast (crust?) of NYC when someone filmed the little fellow dragging a pizza slice more than twice its size down a stairway in a subway station. Below is the 14-second video that turned this hard-working New Yorker into a star.

And check CNN's story on the phenomenon that is Pizza Rat. Of course, Mr. Rat soon had his own Twitter account, @NYCPizzaRat.

Naturally, someone came up with the idea to create a Pizza Rat Halloween costume... but in the form of a sexy dress with only a couple of pizza-slice accents (below). Seriously folks, if you're going to create a Pizza Rat costume that does justice to the original, the slice has to be much more prominent: like twice as big as the person wearing it.

Pizza Rat costume
Pizza Rat costume. Pretty light on the pizza, am I right?

Mr. Rat is not impressed. Not least of all because the outfit is 90 bucks and he's not seeing a dime of it...

Pizza Rat comment on costume
Pizza Rat may have to call his lawyer to get satisfaction.

Pizza Rat hasn't tweeted for a while. Maybe he's just been too busy chasing down pizza or spilled Halloween candy on the subway. Or maybe he's been in touch with his lawyer from Jacoby & Meyers about his identity being stolen for that Halloween costume. If you want to pay homage to Mr. Rat skip the cutesy, pricey faux-rat costume and design your own Pizza Rat outfit that does justice to our urban icon. And remember, the pizza slice should be twice as big as you are.

In any case, rock on, little friend. And know that you are a true New Yorker and an inspiration to us all.

Saturday, September 05, 2015

Looking for a Bizarre, Dystopian Theme Park? Meet Banky's Dismaland!

The secretive British artist Banksy has expanded beyond his usual images in public spaces to a full-fledged, 3D "bemusement park": Dismaland. As its name suggests, this installation is no ordinary happy place to take the kids for a lighthearted day out.

A look at the official tour video for Dismaland (below)—which is midway through its five-week run at Weston-super-Mare on the English seaside—shows how the celebrated artist with the often dark look on life addresses many of the dour and dire aspects of the modern world. Fun stuff like a lack of jobs, pollution, global injustice, and more.

The project features art works from more than 50 artists from around the world, such as a pool with remote-control boats loaded with refugees, a dead princess being photographed by paparazzi, and a game called "Hook a Duck from the Muck."

Looking for a souvenir? You can buy a large, black balloon that says, "I am an imbecile." There's even a cheerfully decorated payday-lending booth where kids can borrow against their pocket money (at an exorbitant 5000% interest rate, naturally).

Dismaland looks a bit like Disneyland as reinterpreted by Tim Burton with the viewpoint of one of those people who stands on a street corner holding a sign that reads "The End is Near."

The Dismaland video below from Britain's Channel 4 offers a bit more insight into the "attractions" of Banksy's theme park of modern-day horrors. It's a place where the dreams—or maybe nightmares?--never end.

Monday, April 01, 2013

Google Introduces Search for Smell - Meet Google Nose!

You can now search and find smells with Google Nose, the latest revolutionary product from the Mountain View, California search behemoth.

See Google Nose in action below.

How did Google capture and catalog all these aromas from around the world? The Google Nose page says that those Google Street vehicles weren't just taking photos, they were collecting smells, too! So if you were chasing after a Google Street van and farted as it passed by you, your aroma might well be immortalized by Google Nose under the category "flatulence, burrito induced."

This is the biggest olfactory innovation since movie theaters tried to introduce Smell-O-Rama!

Friday, February 08, 2013

Get Tickets for Kendrick Lamar's Roseland, New York City Show

Kendrick Lamar is one of today's hottest rising stars, and you can get tickets to his show at New York City's Roseland Ballroom here. Lamar plays the historic music hall on Tuesday, February 26th. Tickets for this show in the Kendrick Lamar tour go on sale Friday, February 8th at 12 Noon.

The 25-year-old rapper from Compton, California has made a huge impression with his acclaimed first full-length album, "good kid, m.A.A.d city." He recently performed two songs on NBC's "Saturday Night Live" ("Swimming Pools (Drank)" and "Poetic Justice"), and even appeared in an SNL Digital Short along with that week's host Adam Levine and The Lonely Island.

Lamar's show at the famous Roseland Ballroom will be a hot ticket, so you'll want to act fast. What's more, this is his first tour since his recent acclaim, and it may be your last chance to see him at a mid-size venue before he becomes an arena headlines.

The Roseland stop on the Kendrick Lamar tour will be a memorable show, to be sure.