Name Britney's Next CD (If You're Willing to Pay, That Is)

With all the problems Britney Spears has had play out in the public eye recently, you'd think she'd want to keep a lower profile. You'd be wrong.

The pop tart, who seems to be having a contest with Lindsay Lohan to see who can cause themsleves the most public embarassment, has has posted a message on her Web site seeking input in another kind of competition: she's asking her "most die-hard fans" to help name her forthcoming album (read: only fans who have paid to join her fan club).

Speaking of Lohan, one of the possible titles mentioned is a joke about the red-headed time bomb: "Omg Is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like." Ironically, Spears and Lohan have the same spokeswoman, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, who, according to the Yahoo article, didn't immediately respond to a request for comment. (If I was her I'd be drowning my sorrows in a bottle of bathtub gin.)

My suggestion for Britney's new CD: "I'm an Insane Panty-Less Addict with a Habit of Dropping My Kids." Yeah, I know, it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but at least it's truth in advertising.

Lindsay Lohan Arrested After Being Attacked by Curb

Looks like Lindsay Lohan may need some re-rehab after she was booked on suspicion of DUI following her latest run-in with the law. Actually it was her convertible that had a run-in, and it was with a curb. Eyewitnesses say that the incident was actually the curb's fault, and that the cantankerous strip of concrete just popped out of nowhere and hit Lindsay's car.

In any case, Lohan was driving her Mercedes at 5:30 a.m. when she the boo-boo on Sunset Boulevard occurred. A police spokesman said it appeared the car was speeding... perhaps because its occupants were trying to get somewhere fast to avoid being caught with cocaine in the car. Yes, the officers at the scene found a drug tentatively identified as cocaine in the vehicle. Police said that Lohan was not carrying the drug.

Lohan was driven in another car to a hospital to be treated for minor injuries. It appears that second car had no problems with unruly curbs.

The case will be presented to a DA, at which time Lohan could face other charges (including felonies). Her arraignment is set for August 24, and if she's smart she'll keep herself out of trouble until then. I'd advise staying away from curbs.

Lohan's father, a felon who recently was released from jail, has suggested that Lindsay needs to find God. Perhaps, but maybe an AA sponsor would be a good substitute in the short term.