Rudy Giuliani at the RNC: "A Hot Dog is NOT a Sandwich!"

Ah, what's better than a rousing, red-meat Rudy Giuliani speech at the Republican National Committee? Here's what: photos from Rudy's famously over-the-top expressions. Here are a couple of examples.

Testify, Rudy! Maybe on the second night of the convention we can wade into the heated controversy of whether a burrito is a sandwich, or whether ketchup is a vegetable.

Answer: This guy! Rudy looks like Ted Cruz just pranked him by giving him a proctological exam with a hot fireplace poker. Just relax and unclench, it'll be over before you know it. Or maybe Rudy was really thinking, "Who should have been the GOP nominee in 2008? In 2012? In 2016? In EVERY election year?! Meeeeeee!"

Tonight's "Make America Safe Again" sounded more like "Scare the shit out of America so we all hide under the bed curled up in the fetal position."

Night two of #RNCinCLE coming up on Tuesday, July 19th. Tune in 'n' cringe!

Donald Trump Quick Takes - Is Mussolini a Type of Pasta?

Donald Trump and Chris Christie embrace in a bro-hug. Christie looks like he's having an orgasm.

Donald Trump is famous for his quick-take insults and opinions on everyone and everything. So what are his thoughts on various topics? Here's our handy guide. (For some actual, real-time Trump-isms, straight from the mouth of The Donald himself, see the real Donald Trump Twitter feed.

• Marco Rubio: Sweats like a pig
• Ted Cruz: Little baby, girly man; looks like a freakish cartoon character
• Benito Mussolini: That's a type of pasta, right?
• David Duke: Isn't that the hot chick from "Dukes of Hazzard"?
• Pres. Obama: Wasn't born on this planet. Where's his intergalactic birth certificate?!
• Russian Pres. Putin: Strong leader. Has nice pecs & abs
• Carly Fiorina: She could give away free printer cartridges for life and still couldn't get elected president of a town's Solid Waste Department

Have you got any favorite real or imagined Trump-isms? Type them in the comments below!

Pizza Rat: Lovable NYC Hero; Now a Halloween Costume Idea

Everyone loves a touching story of a little guy who overcomes adversity to achieve his dream. And many people are looking for a last-minute costume idea for Halloween. What's the connection between the two? Pizza Rat, of course!

Pizza Rat became the toast (crust?) of NYC when someone filmed the little fellow dragging a pizza slice more than twice its size down a stairway in a subway station. Below is the 14-second video that turned this hard-working New Yorker into a star.



And check CNN's story on the phenomenon that is Pizza Rat. Of course, Mr. Rat soon had his own Twitter account, @NYCPizzaRat.

Naturally, someone came up with the idea to create a Pizza Rat Halloween costume... but in the form of a sexy dress with only a couple of pizza-slice accents (below). Seriously folks, if you're going to create a Pizza Rat costume that does justice to the original, the slice has to be much more prominent: like twice as big as the person wearing it.

Pizza Rat costume. Pretty light on the pizza, am I right?

Mr. Rat is not impressed. Not least of all because the outfit is 90 bucks and he's not seeing a dime of it...

Pizza Rat may have to call his lawyer to get satisfaction.

Pizza Rat hasn't tweeted for a while. Maybe he's just been too busy chasing down pizza or spilled Halloween candy on the subway. Or maybe he's been in touch with his lawyer from Jacoby & Meyers about his identity being stolen for that Halloween costume. If you want to pay homage to Mr. Rat skip the cutesy, pricey faux-rat costume and design your own Pizza Rat outfit that does justice to our urban icon. And remember, the pizza slice should be twice as big as you are.

In any case, rock on, little friend. And know that you are a true New Yorker and an inspiration to us all.

Looking for a Bizarre, Dystopian Theme Park? Meet Banky's Dismaland!

The secretive British artist Banksy has expanded beyond his usual images in public spaces to a full-fledged, 3D "bemusement park": Dismaland. As its name suggests, this installation is no ordinary happy place to take the kids for a lighthearted day out.

A look at the official tour video for Dismaland (below)—which is midway through its five-week run at Weston-super-Mare on the English seaside—shows how the celebrated artist with the often dark look on life addresses many of the dour and dire aspects of the modern world. Fun stuff like a lack of jobs, pollution, global injustice, and more.



The project features art works from more than 50 artists from around the world, such as a pool with remote-control boats loaded with refugees, a dead princess being photographed by paparazzi, and a game called "Hook a Duck from the Muck."

Looking for a souvenir? You can buy a large, black balloon that says, "I am an imbecile." There's even a cheerfully decorated payday-lending booth where kids can borrow against their pocket money (at an exorbitant 5000% interest rate, naturally).

Dismaland looks a bit like Disneyland as reinterpreted by Tim Burton with the viewpoint of one of those people who stands on a street corner holding a sign that reads "The End is Near."

The Dismaland video below from Britain's Channel 4 offers a bit more insight into the "attractions" of Banksy's theme park of modern-day horrors. It's a place where the dreams—or maybe nightmares?--never end.

Google Introduces Search for Smell - Meet Google Nose!

You can now search and find smells with Google Nose, the latest revolutionary product from the Mountain View, California search behemoth.

See Google Nose in action below.



How did Google capture and catalog all these aromas from around the world? The Google Nose page says that those Google Street vehicles weren't just taking photos, they were collecting smells, too! So if you were chasing after a Google Street van and farted as it passed by you, your aroma might well be immortalized by Google Nose under the category "flatulence, burrito induced."

This is the biggest olfactory innovation since movie theaters tried to introduce Smell-O-Rama!

Get Tickets for Kendrick Lamar's Roseland, New York City Show

Kendrick Lamar is one of today's hottest rising stars, and you can get tickets to his show at New York City's Roseland Ballroom here. Lamar plays the historic music hall on Tuesday, February 26th. Tickets for this show in the Kendrick Lamar tour go on sale Friday, February 8th at 12 Noon.

The 25-year-old rapper from Compton, California has made a huge impression with his acclaimed first full-length album, "good kid, m.A.A.d city." He recently performed two songs on NBC's "Saturday Night Live" ("Swimming Pools (Drank)" and "Poetic Justice"), and even appeared in an SNL Digital Short along with that week's host Adam Levine and The Lonely Island.

Lamar's show at the famous Roseland Ballroom will be a hot ticket, so you'll want to act fast. What's more, this is his first tour since his recent acclaim, and it may be your last chance to see him at a mid-size venue before he becomes an arena headlines.

The Roseland stop on the Kendrick Lamar tour will be a memorable show, to be sure.

Get Tickets for Beyoncé's "The Mrs. Carter Show" Concert in Brooklyn

Beyoncé is hitting the road with her new concert tour, dubbed "The Mrs. Carter Show World Tour." The spectacle comes to Brooklyn, New York on Saturday, August 3rd at the brand-spanking-new Barclays Center. You can get your Beyoncé Barclays Center tickets here, which go on sale Monday, Feb. 11th at 10 a.m.

If you saw Beyoncé's dazzling halftime show at this year's Super Bowl, you've got a good idea of what you'll see on stage in Brooklyn. And since the show is in New York, you never know what special guest stars might pop up on stage. One thing's for sure: there will be plenty of catchy tunes, spectacular special effects, a high-energy stage show, amazing costumes, and no small amount of booty shaking.

The Beyoncé tour is sure to be one of the hottest tickets of 2013. Get your tickets for her Brooklyn show starting Monday, Feb. 11th at the link below.

"Suit and Tie" - Justin Timberlake's New Single, Featuring Jay-Z

After a false start earlier this week, the new Justin Timberlake single, "Suit and Tie," is out, and you can hear it below. As someone remarked on Twitter a few minutes ago, the tune is sure to be played at every prom and wedding this spring and summer.

Smart move by JT in dropping this early in the new year to let it filter through the public consciousness so that everyone will be very familiar with it by spring.



We'll all look forward to his follow-up single, "Socks and Underwear." So what do you think of Justin Timberlake's new single, "Suit and Tie"? Weigh in below!

2012 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on CBS - Tonight! Oddball Costumes Galore...

If you like beautiful young women dressed in skimpy underwear with bizarre accessories, well, tonight's your night: the 2012 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show will be aired on CBS here in the U.S. of A.

"I look so HOT. And so silly. At the same time."

 
The actual show took place several weeks ago, and photos of the outfits were shown in many news outlets and online (such as the New York Daily News). Like those hoity-toity fashion shows in Paris, Milan, and New York, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show features a bevy of very attractive and ridiculously in-shape (and/or anorexic-looking) women wearing absurd outfits that no ordinary working girl would wear, or could possibly afford.

A big theme at this year's Victoria's Secret show is skimpy undergarments with butterfly-type wings, flower-covered appendages, and other stuff attached to the back. Huh? It doesn't seem all that attractive in the first place, to say nothing of being impractical. Who wants to get poked in the eye by a giant sequined insect wing when trying to get frisky with one's mate?

 Regardless, the 2012 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show will have boffo TV ratings and will spark millions of tweets and Facebook posts, because it seems both men and women watch this show closely each year: women because they love putting these type of garments on, and men because they love, well, taking them off. Turn your TV or other device to CBS at 10 p.m. Eastern and watch a thousand butterflies bloom, or fly, or strut, or whatever.

Tomorrow's "iCarly" to Feature Animated Carly, Sam, Freddie

The "iCarly" gang gets animated Saturday night.

The "iCarly" gang gets animated in the Nov. 10th episode, "iBust a Thief." The episode features a short cartoon called "Hungry Sam," in which the character's appetite gets the best of her in a bizarrely unexpected way.

In the episode, Sam's laptop gets stolen, and she leaves no stone (or anything else) unturned until she finds out who took it. It's Sam at her obsessive, tunnel-visioned best (or worst, rather).

You'll find a preview of tomorrow night's "iCarly" here.  

"iBust a Thief" premieres Nov. 10th at 8 p.m. Eastern time on Nickelodeon.

Watch Big Bird in New Obama Ad (Video)

As you've no doubt heard, the Obama re-election campaign has created a TV ad featuring Big Bird that spoofs Mitt Romney's pledge to eliminate funding for PBS. You can see the ad below, but maybe not for long: Sesame Workshop, the organization that created "Sesame Street," has told the Obama campaign that it wants the ad removed.



The ad is funny, though it's anybody's guess whether it will have an impact on the election. And regardless of what one thinks about the funding of public broadcasting, the big yellow bird does look a little, um (how to gently say this?), overstuffed around the midsection. Perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad thing if he had a little less bird feed in his dish.

Maybe in their upcoming debates, Obama and Romney can discuss the relative merits of Cookie Monster or Oscar the Grouch?

The "Most Interesting Man in the World" Speaks!

He has to shoo his wild cat off his kitchen counter. He's met royalty and gone hiking up sheer mountain cliffs. He's "The Most Interesting Man in the World," the grizzled, world-traveling spokesman for Dos Equis beer, and you can meet the man behind the man in this radio profile.



He's Jonathan Goldsmith, and he's been urging viewers to "Stay thirsty, my friends" for several years now. In real life, he lives in Vermont. Where he can presumably wrestle bears, balance moose on top of his head, and wring maple syrup out of trees with his bare hands.

Clint Eastwood Talks to Chair; Shakes Up Republican Convention

Presidential conventions have long been micromanaged, pre-packaged infomercials, but veteran actor Clint Eastwood offered an unscripted "What the F..." moment in his speech at Thursday's final session of the 2012 Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida. You can view the full Clint Eastwood speech below.



The 82-year-old actor and director seemed like the cranky grandpa at the Thanksgiving dinner, delivering an off-the-wall 11-minute talk in which he spoke to a chair next to the lectern, which represented President Barack Obama. Several times Eastwood pretended to be listening the the chair, saying "What? I can't do that to myself."

The speech's bizarre and comic moments often had the convention delegates in the hall laughing and cheering, but it's not clear how the speech played with the millions watching at home. No matter what one thinks of Eastwood or GOP nominee Mitt Romney, the actor's oddball speech was definitely one of the few semi-spontaneous moments you'll see in this year's major party conventions.

Unfortunately, Romney had the task of closing out the convention with his acceptance speech-- no easy task after Eastwood brought down the house with his Chair Whisperer routine.

"The Hunger Games" Re-Enacted by Beanie Babies (VIDEO)

Here's a way to experience "The Hunger Games" as never before: no, not in 3D, but in a re-enactment by Beanie Babies. Unless you've been living on another planet, or under a very large (and soundproof) rock, you've no doubt heard of the new movie "The Hunger Games," based on the absurdly popular book of the same name. Now you can view a version of the megahit story portrayed by the megahit stuffed toy from the 1990s. What could be better?

“The Beanie Baby Hunger Games," created by Jeff Luppino-Esposito & Jamie T. McCelland, is said to be true to the books. I have not yet read the books, but I know that they involve games, hunger, and a bunch of good-looking young people trying to kill each other. Wait, isn't that "Jersey Shore"?

OK, perhaps not. I do know that the lead character is named Katniss, which makes me think of catnip. And hearing the word "hunger" 20 times a day leaves me thinking of food constantly. I wonder what Pavlov and his famous pooch would make of that.

Even if you're not a fan of hunger, or of games, check out “The Beanie Baby Hunger Games," and leave your comments below on what you think of the video, the movie, the books, or your favorite sandwich. Oh hey, look, it's lunchtime!

Amanda Knox to Go Free: Murder Conviction Overturned

American Amanda Knox was ordered freed in a court in Perugia, Italy in an appeal of the sensational murder case of her roommate Meredith Kercher. A jury acquitted her on almost all charges.

The 24-year-old Knox had been sentenced to a 26-year sentence for the murder of her roommate, Briton Meredith Kercher. Kercher was found stabbed to death in their house in Perugia, where both she and Knox were students.

Knox's Italian boyfriend at the time, Rafaelle Sollecito, was also convicted of the murder. The two had been in prison for the last four years.

Both Knox and Sollecito spoke before the six-person jury shortly before they went into their deliberations. Knox proclaimed "I am innocent" in her statement, which she delivered in Italian. "I did not kill, I did not rape, I did not steal," Knox said in her emotional 10-minute statement to the jury.

Knox was found guilty on a charge of defamation and sentenced to three years, but since she had already served four years already, she was ordered released. CNN reported that she was to head back to prison to collect her belongings and was free to leave the country.

Amanda Knox News: Verdict Due; Acquittal Coming?

Monday, Oct. 3rd is the day that a verdict is set to be announced in the appeal by Amanda Knox. Will she be acquitted of the murder of her roommate, Meredith Kercher?

Here are some of the latest bits of Amanda Knox news from the world press:
* Amanda Knox proclaimed "I am innocent" in her 10-minute statement to the jury, which she delivered in Italian. The jury began meeting soon afterward
* Australia's Herald Sun talks about how Knox is preparing her final statement to the jury that will decide her fate
* CNN offers an explainer on how Knox's case will be decided;
* another CNN piece looks at the Amanda Knox case timeline
* the Italian town of Perugia has taken a hit to its reputation, with the trial showing its seamy underside of drugs and drunken foreign students

In a previous post I talked about some of the info on Amanda Knox's MySpace page (which was later taken down). You can read what she had on her MySpace page, and see a screen capture of it there.

(See a gallery of Amanda Knox personal photos.)

Knox's appeal is focused on the evidence in the case, or rather the lack of it. Her team has argued that the DNA evidence is sketchy, and that despite the bloody crime scene found around Kercher, Amanda Knox's DNA was not found at the scene. Some of Knox's DNA was found on a knife believed to be the murder weapon, but since Knox and the victim were roommates, it's possible that the DNA got on the knife by completely innocent methods.

The defense has also argued that investigators botched the case by tainting the DNA evidence.

Knox's initial defense had to contend with inconsistent statements made by Knox herself and emotional appeals based on the bloody Meredith Kercher crime scene photos.

The six-person jury is expected to deliver its verdict on Monday in Perugia; the families of both Amanda Knox and Meredith Kercher will be in attendance.

Casey Anthony Acquitted; World Waits for Nancy Grace's Head to Combust

Casey Anthony: "Hmm, book deal? Movie deal? 'Dancing With the Stars'?"

The Casey Anthony jurors have spoken, and the world holds its collective breath for the coming cataclysm: Nancy Grace's head exploding, or imploding, or bursting forth like a supernova. No doubt Grace was fuming after the acquittal of Casey Anthony in the death of her daughter Caylee, and probably spent her entire show Tuesday screeching "Tot mom! Tot mom! Tot mom!" at the top of her lungs. (She did apparently say that "the devil was dancing" at the verdict.)

The way Grace substitutes "tot mom" for the name "Casey Anthony" every chance she gets, you'd think she's trademarked the phrase. Maybe Grace is planning on marketing a series of "Tot Mom" t-shirts and coffee mugs? Or maybe she has a clause in her HLN contract that give her a nickel every time she utters the phrase "tot mom" on the air.

Nancy Dis-Grace certainly has plenty of devoted viewers, but plenty of folks find her act of proclaiming every development as "Stunning!," "Blockbuster!," "Bombshell!," etc. pretty tiresome.  The New York Daily News called Grace “everything that’s wrong with cable TV.” And you have to wonder if it was news "personalities" like Grace that Ted Turner had in mind years ago when he lamented that cable news had descended into "pervert of the week" coverage.

Nancy Grace: expect her head to explode in 3, 2, 1... Photo: Vidiot

CNN has marketed Grace in the past as a "tough-as-nails former prosecutor," but her pit-bull style has earned her a lot of criticism and condemnation, even in her law career. The Supreme Court of Georgia has criticized her not once but twice, according to Wikipedia, including a heroin case in which she "'exceeded the wide latitude of closing argument' by drawing comparisons to unrelated murder and rape cases." In another case, the Court determined that "the conduct of the prosecuting attorney [Grace] in this case demonstrated her disregard of the notions of due process and fairness, and was inexcusable."

Grace isn't the only anchor to go overboard regarding the Anthony trial at HLN (the CNN channel formerly known as Headline News). Over the weekend we saw video of Jane Velez-Mitchell literally running after the defense attorneys to try to get a comment. And after the verdict was announced, the usually watchable Vinnie Politano fell way off the wagon and veered sharply into Nancy Grace territory. He pounded on the table and going on and on about Caylee Anthony being dumped like a pile of garbage, how could Casey Anthony not say anything for a month knowing her daughter is dead, etc., neglecting that those charges were not part of the State's indictment.

HLN should have pulled Mr. Politan off the air until he could compose himself, or take a Xanax or something. He embarrassed himself, and I'm sure a number of viewers were turned off by his over-the-top, one-sided harangue.

Watch Lady Gaga's "Judas" Video

Lady Gaga has unleashed the video for her latest single "Judas" (above) and it combines some typical Gaga elements with a biblical theme. The singer dancing around in her underwear? Check. Crazy costumes, makeup, and hair? Check. Team of lithe, half-naked dancers? Yep. Throbbing dance beat? Oh hell yes. The "Judas" video has a motorcycle-gang motif going on, with the easy riders apparently the apostles of Jesus (names like "Peter," "Judas," etc. appear on the back of their leather biker jackets, along with the skull and crossbones).

Speaking of bikes, WWJR (What Would Jesus Ride?) Would he be a Harley guy, or would he go for an imported make like a Moto-Guzzi or a Swedish Husqvarna... OK, back to the "Judas" video. Lady Gaga at one point pulls out a big, shiny silver pistol and points it at Judas's head, but instead of bullets lipstick emerges from its barrel, and Judas gets a touch-up on his face with it.

Later on, Gaga is in a hot tub with Judas and Jesus, and Judas has a six-pack of cans with him. Is that biblical beer? At one point he pulls out a can and pours the liquid on Gaga's back, and it looks more like root beer. I don't know if they had motorcycles, lipstick guns, or root beer back in biblical times, but there is a foot-washing scene and Jesus does wear a crown of thorns, so Lady Gaga does make a few attempts at historical accuracy.

If Judas were alive today he'd probably want one of those bad-ass motorcycles -- and a leather biker jacket -- instead of the pieces of silver he got for betraying Jesus.

Kate Middleton For the Win! - Photos of the Duchess of Cambridge with Hilarious Captions

We don't know what Kate Middleton, the new Duchess of Cambridge, is really thinking as she meets ordinary Britons or goes through other rituals of her royal routine, but fortunately the Tumblr blog Kate Middleton For the Win! lets us imagine. Whether she's looking glamorous or awkward in the photos, this website puts some hilarious thoughts into her head.

Most of these captioned photos were created before the wedding, but you can expect to see many more as Kate and her new hubby make appearances around Britain, its far-flung former empire, and the world. And as they try not to look absurdly out of place as they visit alternative schools, put on har hats to view construction sites, meet meet bizarrely dressed native from countries around the world, and more.

With so photos to be taken of Kate, there are sure to be many priceless expressions to be mined for comic gold.

The creator of also has a Twitter page (tweeting as the Duchess) at @PrincessKateFTW.

Rebecca Black Takes Over "Funny or Die" for "Black Friday" = "Friday or Die"!

Rebecca Black Be Rolling from Rebecca Black

It's true... Internet superstar Rebecca Black and her song "Friday" took over "Funny or Die" on April 1st, and in honor of the viral video and its 13-year-old star the comedy video site became "Friday or Die," with a bunch of new videos featuring Black herself. (The April Fool's joke was apparently that Black made so much money from "Friday" that she bought out "Funny or Die.") You can find all the Rebecca Black "Friday or Die" videos and photos here.

You'll find videos including:
* the trailer for "Sunday Comes Afterwards," an end-of-the-world disaster movie starring everyone's favorite teen cereal eater
* Rebecca Black analyzing the deep societal meaning of the lyrics to "Friday"
* an infomercial for "Rebecca Black's Greatest Hits," featuring "Friday" remixes and tunes including "Cereal (Extended Remix)" and "I Chose the Backseat"

Besides the videos, you'll find the "top 10 Rebecca Black animated GIFs." See the girl in the red dress dance! See Rebecca's friend wearing a mustache and playing an accordion! And more!

There are also video mashups with The Cure's "Friday I'm in Love" and other Friday-related content.

Rebecca Black is working on her next single, called "LOL," and is said to be planning a full-length album. And, in case you've been on the International Space Station during the last month and haven't seen the original Rebecca Black "Friday" video, here it is: