Bin Laden's Cozy Home and Heavy-Metal Speechwriter

Osama bin Laden continues to be a question wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a big ball of fuzzy black hair (but no more gray! thanks to Grecian Formula)...

The New York Daily News reports that OBL lives not in some squalid cave, but in a cushy compound in a remote region of Pakistan... one apparently equipped with cable TV and broadband Internet, judging by his knowledge of current happenings in the U.S.

Speaking of which, maybe OBL doesn't really know squat about taxes and mortgage problems in America; just like modern politicians, he has a speechwriter doing research and writing his stuff. Some intelligence experts have remarked that The Bearded One's remarks about American society and capitalism have the fingerprints of an American al Quaeda member all over them.

The U.K. Telegraph quotes an ex-intel official as saying that large sections of the speech were probably written by Adam Gadahn, the head of al-Qaeda's English language media operations, who used to be a California heavy metal fan before converted to Islam. (He's made his own anti-U.S. videos, but clearly Osama wants the screen time this go-'round.)

The Telegraph notes that the U.S.-bashing comments in OBL's speech had him "sounding like an anti-globalisation protester.... The al-Qaeda leader's first video message for three years featured a bizarre rant against America, with references to global warming, "insane taxes", the US mortgage market meltdown and rising interest rates."

Rants about Insane taxes, global warming, mortgage crunches, and big corporations? Trimming and dyeing his beard to look younger? Sounds like OBL is trying to appeal to a younger demographic, just like many TV advertisers... maybe bin Laden has hired a team of lobbyists and media consultants in hopes of buffing his image and reaching a broader audience.

What's next... bin Laden insights on American Idol candidates and commentary on whether Vaness Hudgens should be removed from High School Musical 3?