Curiosities from the Job Hunting File

When I entered the job market more than 25 years ago, looking for a job meant mostly perusing the classifieds in the Sunday paper and cold-calling companies whose numbers I'd looked up in the phone book.

Today, of course, there's Monster.com and other job boards, job listings on company Web sites, and my current favorite, Craigslist. Because the Craigslist job ads are cheap or free, the jobs there range from the high-end positions you'd find in the New York Times to the low-brow listings that appear in your local weekly rag.

I've cast a wide net in my job search, so regularly check the ads in the New Yrok City Craigslist "ETC" section, which are jobs that don't fit into any other category. Here are some of the oddities I've found in that section this last week, in no particular order:

• Expert bra fitter/lingerie specialist
  
• Adult phone operator
  
• Sales for nonprofit cemetery
  
• Drivers needed for escort service
  
• Escorts needed--incall, outcall, travel-- very busy-- $1000+ a night
  
• Tree pruning
  
• Make $130/hr at fetish roleplay studios
  
• Yoga instructor for summer day camp
  

There was also a listing for a "Eurobungy operator." At first I thought this was a mispelling, that it must be for Eurobuggy, which must be some kind of pedicab or something. But it turns out that "bungy" is the appropriate spelling, and that this is some kind of adventure/exercise equipment to demonstrate to potential customers. You really do learn something every day (whether that something is totally useless or not is another matter).

Angelina Jolie Adopts Entire Nation of Vietnam

Serial child adopter Angelina Jolie has decided to streamline her child acquisition efforts by adopting the entire nation of Vietnam. Jolie has had to undergo a lengthy process in adopting her children, with the massive paperwork involved for each adoption and the endless scrutiny of the paparazzi at every turn.

So Jolie realized that she would need a new strategy for adoption if she had any hopes of catching up to Mia Farrow. Farrow, the former companion of filmmaking legend Woody Allen, has adopted at least a dozen children from different countries.

Adoption experts and relief officials were puzzled and skeptical about Jolie's mass adoption. They questioned why Jolie would seek legal custody of an entire country's population, most of which are adults, and wondered what she knew about being a "parent" to adults.

When asked about this the dazzling, puffy-lipped superstar snapped, "Hey, I was married to Billy Bob Thornton for three years, and he was, like, 20 years older than me. I know plenty about adopting adults."

New CRM Software Simplifies Sales Management

Software for customer relationship management (CRM) can help businesses in managing leads and sales... but like many powerful software programs, it can be complicated and have a steep learning curve. A CRM program I recently heard about called AIMpromote seeks to change all by making the software quick and easy to implement.

The people who created AIMpromote know that many of the features of typical CRM software don't get used, so they've enabled you to use only the features of AIMpromote that you really want. AIMpromote takes the best elements of CRM software and presents them into one seamless application that lets your sales force concentrate on making sales, not on learning applications.

AIMpromote can help you streamline the sales process, as well as improve follow-up with sales force automation and sales management features.

Alec Baldwin Explains Phone Rant: "I Was Trying Out for Imus's Job!"

Yes, Alec Baldwin has caught a lot of flack for his phone tirade at his daugter, Ireland. He yelled at her a couple of weeks ago for not being available to talk with him at their pre-arranged time.

I've now come up with a reasonable explanation--Alec was just auditioning for Don Imus's old job! The I-Man has been ranting and raving on morning drive-time radio for decades, so Baldwin knew the bar was set pretty high for anyone seeking to fill Don's shoes (or his cowboy hat). So Alec channeled his angry, confrontational character from "Glengarry Glen Ross" (thankfully without the profanity).

Hmmm, let's picture this... "Ireland, put the Barbie doll DOWN! .... Barbie dolls are for closers only. You know what it takes to be my daughter?! It takes brass balls to be my daughter."

Hey, I'll always admire Baldwin for that great Glengarry role, and for his hilarious current turn on "30 Rock." I'd hate to see him denied visits with his kid just because of this one rant ... if this kind of blow-up is a recurring thing, well, that's another matter. He went on "The View" and said that he was considering giving up his role in "30 Rock" and even his acting career in general to spend more time concentrating on his family.

Shaving and losing some weight would do him some good. If nothing else, it would make him look less like a middle-aged crazy when he appears in court for a custody hearing.

Imus Apologizes for Scaring Small Children, Dogs

Already at the center of controversy over his derogatory comments about the Rutgers University women's basketball team, Don Imus has created another firestorm after the publication of pictures of his frightening new look at an appearance on Rev. Al Sharpton's radio show Monday.

Photos of Imus's long, scraggly white hair and overgrown eyebrows, combined with his trademark scrunched-up face, reportedly caused hundreds of cases of frightened children and agitated pets nationwide.

Like many people, I hadn't seen any photos of Imus that were more recent than the 1980s, when he had a head of curly hair. So seeing today's Imus was quite a shock -- and a scary one at that. He looks like what Captain Kangaroo, the children's TV show host from the 1960s, would look like if he had grown his hair long and lost 50 pounds from being held for years in a Turkish prison. (And if Captain Kangaroo had Andy Rooney's unruly, overgrown eyebrows transplanted onto his face.)

Don, get a haircut! You work in New York City, not in some cabin in the woods, sharing a bunk with the Unabomber!

Dream Season Ends for Rutgers Women's Hoops Team

Rutgers' dream season came to a crashing thud at the hands of the powerful Tennessee Volunteers Tuesday night at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland. The team's improbable run this season had included a remarkable turnaround from a 2-4 start for the young team. And it was punctuated by key victories over archrival Connecticut in the championship game of the Big East tournament, and big wins in the NCAA tourney over powerhouses Duke and LSU. More remarkable still was that Rutgers had no seniors on its team.

But the Rutgers run came to an end at the hands of a bigger and more experienced Tennessee team, the most successful program in women's NCAA basketball. The Lady Vols captured their seventh title by beating Rutgers at its own game, with suffocating defense. UT's bigger lineup also enabled them to amass a huge edge in offensive rebounds, leading to Tennessee having many more shot opportunities that their rivals from New Jersey.

Spirits were high at a pre-game party for the Rutgers faithful, sponsored by the alumni association and held at a Jacobs Field dining room adjacent to the Arena. The Rutgers band and cheerleaders were there, as were the university president, the men's football and basketball coaches, and many fans and alums from the Rutgers community.

Although women's basketball coach C. Vivian Stringer has set a record by being the only basketball coach (men's or women's) to take three different teams to the NCAA Final Four (this was the second time with Rutgers), she was still looking to win her first NCAA title. Among those attending the Rutgers pre-game party were several women who had played for Stringer at the first team she took to the Final Four, Pennsylvania's Cheyney State, whom she took to the pinnacle of college basketball in 1982.

Despite such historical meanings a Rutgers title would have, Stringer was not to get her title this night in Cleveland. But the good news is that she has a young team of talented players who will all be back next year. Rutgers fans are hoping to have another pre-game party before the championship match next year in Tampa, where the 2008 women's Final Four will be taking place.