Wednesday, November 28, 2007

J.R. Rotem Latest Fling for Britney Spears - Is She Pregnant?

Is Britney Spears pregnant from a tryst with record producer J.R. Rotem? Britney Spears's life continues to be like a car wreck: we know we shouldn't watch, and yet we can't help ourselves. The gossip Web sites are reporting that Rotem has bragged about his sexual exploits with everyone's favorite self-destructing pop tart to Blender magazine, and is claiming she is pregnant with his child.

The The Hollywood Gossip says that In Touch claims that Britney Spears confided to her friends via e-mail that she is four weeks pregnant, and that she's sure J.R. Rotem is the father. She supposedly even attached an ultrasound image to the e-mails.

Granted, these reports are a very long daisy chain of rumors... so-and-so reports that a second source heard from a third source that person X received an e-mail from whomever. But, if this is all true, it's just another collision for the former pop princess-turned-train-wreck.

Latest news: Perez Hilton says the rumors of Britney Spears being pregnant are false. Hmmm... who's less reliable, In Touch or Perez Hilton?

Well, things could be worse... Spears could be impregnated by some alien life form from a distant galaxy, or by the devil himself, a la "Rosemary's Baby."

Pepperidge Farms "Connecting Through Cookies" Web Site... Huh?

Cookie maker Pepperidge Farms has gotten into the social networking business, according to reports in the NY Times and elsewhere. The idea is to foster friendships around the brand's cookies and other snacks, and the campaign's tagline is... "Connecting through Cookies." What are these people smoking?

Pepperidge Farms has created a Web site,, where their target audience (women) can connect... and stuff their faces with endless bags of Mint Milanos, no doubt.

The head of the baker's PR agency is happy about the approach it designed. “The Web offers us so much opportunity for blowing ideas out,” said James Allman, chief executive at DeVries Public Relations in New York. Blow, baby, blow!

Maybe Pepperidge Farms can then create another Web site to help all those newly obese cookie-connectors lose weight... they can call it "Chat to Lose the Fat," or something.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Prairie Tumbleweed Farm Sells Unusual Holiday Gift

Talk about turning lemons into lemonade! Prairie Tumbleweed Farm in Kansas has created a new gift idea by turning tumbleweeds, which are kind of like giant weedy hairballs of the prairie, into a popular holiday item. They are promoting tumbleweeds as a distinctive item that can be used as a decoration (plenty of space for lights, tinsel, etc.) or as a unique gift.

With the motto "If they don't tumble we don't sell them!," Prairie Tumbleweed Farm is promoting the product as a multi-purpose piece of decor. "Tumbleweeds! Decorative year 'round!" They note that these tumbleweeds are the same kind that have been used as props in movies, TV shows, etc. over the years.

It's an audacious idea, but it's good to see these folks have a healthy sense of humor about their product. "Our Prairie Tumbleweeds are 100% Y2K compliant," they note with tongue firmly in cheek.

Just make sure no one gets near the Christmas tumbleweed with a lit cigarette...

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

'Tis the Season for Baby in the Oven Stories!

Along with turkey and cranberry sauce, those "baby in the oven" stories are another Thanksgiving tradition. You know... some mother (or uncle, or brother, or stranger) accidentally (or not) puts a child in the oven, either to shut it up or keep it warm, or maybe the child looks like a turkey. Every year such stories make the rounds on the Internet, and some of them are true.

Very few baby in the oven incidents actually happen. People searching for them on the Web will find some articles, but the most recent one I found was from January 2007, and a couple others were older than that. The baby in a microwave oven seems to be just a more modern variation on this oft-rumored tale.

So rest easy... there is no holiday epidemic of cooks putting their babies in the oven, whether intentionally or accidentally. But just like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, those baby in the oven stories, a holiday tradition, are back.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Gene Simmons of KISS: Downloading Kids Should be "Sued Off the Face of the Earth"

If you ever run into Gene Simmons of KISS, don't tell him that you downloaded one of his albums from a peer-to-peer service... he'll probably rip you a new a-hole.

Simmons didn't mince words when he was asked about what he thinks about people who download music illegally: "Every little college kid, every freshly-scrubbed little kid's face should have been sued off the face of the earth," he said in a recent interview with Billboard magazine.

On an interesting side note, Simmons, who stars in the reality TV show "Gene Simmons Family Jewels," is now writing a book called, "Ladies of the Night," a "personal and historical overview" about the profession of prostitution. (Wonder how much is personal and how much is professional?) I guess Simmons has a higher opinion of prostitutes than kids who download music.

Maybe he can convince some prostitutes to buy his music legally...

Travis Barker is Alive, but the Flying Spaghetti Monster is Dead

Relief over the news that former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker is indeed alive was tempered by sadness: it has been reported by the highly reputable news source MySpace that the popular cult god Flying Spaghetti Monster, or FSM, is dead.

The news was announced in a posting by the respected 13-year-old MySpacer GothChik1994. In the same posting, GothChik1994 also reported that she is really bummed out because she has a big zit on her chin and her favorite hardcore band, Born of Osiris, is not coming to her town.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster, affectionately known as "Spags" to his many loyal followers, was reportedly found dead in his garage on Nov. 13th after returning home from an awards ceremony. FSM was said to have been drinking sacramental holy wine at the dinner, but it is not known at this time if alcohol was a factor in the alleged death.

The church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster uses specialized wines as its sacraments, including Boone's Farm and Richard's Wild Irish Rose.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster leaves behind his devoted disciples Rotini, Manicotti, Spaghettini, and Linguine.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster had requested in his will that in the event of his passing, he be cooked in a pan of water with a pinch of salt until al dente, and then drained and covered with white clam sauce.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

South Korea's "Mr. Toilet" Builds His Toilet-Shaped Dream House

The South Korean president of the World Toilet Association, a man called "Mr. Toilet," has built his dream house, and it's shaped like ... well, a toilet.

Although the group is called the "World" toilet association, it's supported by the South Korean government, and supposedly aims to launch a "toilet revolution," and improve worldwide hygiene. Representatives from 60 countries will meet in Korea to discuss forming toilet associations of their own.

"The toilet revolution should start with talking about toilet issues freely," said Song Young-kwon, head of the organizing committee for the conference. Ummm,.. yeah.

Along with conference there will be a "toilet expo" for the public, including a "Hansel and Gretel" bathroom made from cookies and candy "that gives presents to children when they flush," and a cafe where people can sit on colorful toilets. ( Why hasn't Starbucks jumped on this trend?)

Supposedly this is the only "toilet house" in the world. Let's hope so.