Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Rudy Giuliani at the RNC: "A Hot Dog is NOT a Sandwich!"

Ah, what's better than a rousing, red-meat Rudy Giuliani speech at the Republican National Committee? Here's what: photos from Rudy's famously over-the-top expressions. Here are a couple of examples.

Testify, Rudy! Maybe on the second night of the convention we can wade into the heated controversy of whether a burrito is a sandwich, or whether ketchup is a vegetable.

Answer: This guy! Rudy looks like Ted Cruz just pranked him by giving him a proctological exam with a hot fireplace poker. Just relax and unclench, it'll be over before you know it. Or maybe Rudy was really thinking, "Who should have been the GOP nominee in 2008? In 2012? In 2016? In EVERY election year?! Meeeeeee!"

Tonight's "Make America Safe Again" sounded more like "Scare the shit out of America so we all hide under the bed curled up in the fetal position."

Night two of #RNCinCLE coming up on Tuesday, July 19th. Tune in 'n' cringe!

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Donald Trump Quick Takes - Is Mussolini a Type of Pasta?

Trump and Christie bro-hug
Donald Trump and Chris Christie embrace in a bro-hug. Christie looks like he's having an orgasm.

Donald Trump is famous for his quick-take insults and opinions on everyone and everything. So what are his thoughts on various topics? Here's our handy guide. (For some actual, real-time Trump-isms, straight from the mouth of The Donald himself, see the real Donald Trump Twitter feed.
  • Marco Rubio: Sweats like a pig
  • Ted Cruz: Little baby, girly man; looks like a freakish cartoon character
  • Benito Mussolini: That's a type of pasta, right?
  • David Duke: Isn't that the hot chick from "Dukes of Hazzard"?
  • Pres. Obama: Wasn't born on this planet. Where's his intergalactic birth certificate?!
  • Russian Pres. Putin: Strong leader. Has nice pecs & abs
  • Carly Fiorina: She could give away free printer cartridges for life and still couldn't get elected president of a town's Solid Waste Department
Have you got any favorite real or imagined Trump-isms? Type them in the comments below!