Tuesday, February 06, 2007

"Robochick" Astronaut in Diapers Nabbed in Murder Bust!

Ground Control to Major Tom: One of our astronauts is insane! NASA does all kinds of physiological tests on astronauts... but maybe they should concentrate on doing more of a "check-up from the neck up"?

Lisa "Robochick" Nowak, a mission specialist who was working with the Space Shuttle's robotic arm, was arrested Tuesday and charged with attempted murder for driving 900 miles to allegedly confront and murder her romantic rival. Nowak is 43, married, and has three kids, but apparently was in love with fellow spaceman William "Billy-O" Oefelein.

She drove from Houston to Orlando, where the other woman lives, and had in her possession a BB gun, a steel mallet, a knife, rubber tubing, and pepper spray. And she was wearing a trenchcoat and wig, and a diaper to avoid those time-consuming potty breaks on the drive down. Well, those are all the things that I take with me on a trip to Orlando!

She apparently confronted the woman she thought was her rival--Colleen Shipman, who she believed was romantically involved with Billy-O. The Robochick was said to have confronted Shipman (who doesn't seem to have a catchy nickname) at her car at the Orlando airport, and sprayed something at her. It may have been the pepper spray, or it could have been robopiss from her diaper.

Robochick was let out of jail on bail and ordered to wear a GPS monitoring device. No word on whether she had to wear a diaper or whether she had potty privileges at home.

Danger, Will Robinson! Please get Ms. Robochick the help she needs, so she can return to work... at a nice desk job on the ground, of course.

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