Friday, January 25, 2008

Butt Glue: Miss America's Best Friend

The Miss America Pageant has long been a target for mockery, with its canned smiles, silly sparkling gowns, and now the pageant has decided that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

TLC is tonight presenting the finale of its show "Miss America: Reality Check," which isn't so odd except that TLC is also the network that's airing the Miss America Pageant itself. The pageant has had low ratings for years, and various minor tweaks haven't stemmed the bleeding, so it seems TLC decided that having the competition laugh at itself would be the major makeover the show needed.

"Miss America: Reality Check" seeks to take viewers behind the pageant, which has more than its share of hokey traditions and elements: the eternal plastic smiles, the odd parade waves, the big hair, and of course the trade secret of beauty pageant contestants everywhere: butt glue.

Anyone who's seen the movie "Miss Congeniality" knows what butt glue is: an adhesive that contestants spray on their rear ends before the swimsuit competition so the suit will not ride up. After all, it just wouldn't do for Miss America to be strutting around the stage in all her glamor, while sporting an embarrassingly public wedgie.

No comments: